Tuesday, 6 November 2012

'Weird people' by Ryan Millerchip

Ryan Millerchip is a Year 6 pupil at Western Springs Community Primary School.  All the pupils from Year 6 wrote me a letter as well as sending me their stories. This is what Ryan wrote:

Dear Fiona
It was amazing when you came into school. I loved your picture of your dog. we have done the stories that you asked us to do. We are editing them. Are you writing any new stories. We are sending you some of out work.
Yours sincerely
Ryan Millerchip

Editing your own work is kind of hard, but very necessary so I'm always pleased to hear that it is one of the skills which children in KS2 are introduced to.

Ryan's story is great because it is completely different from any of the others, he has is own style and I love the tie-in at the end - very clever and very funny!

Weird people

On a dark misty morning Phillip and his dad were watching the news with a delicious peperoni pizza. "this pizza is amazing" said Phillip "it sure is" said dad.

BREAKING NEWS!!! Said the TV "oh no" said Phillip. Some weird people are heading for town nobody knows what they are.
Please remain c.....all of the electricity was gone. "oh no" said dad "the power has gone out". Luckily the street lights were still on.

So all they had to do was go to the glass door and open it. It took lots of fiddling but they finally got outside. they could see lots of weird people in the distance.

"It's them the weird people" said Phillip "they do look a bit weird to be fair."
"We need to warn the town" said dad.

"You can't " said a man. "take this and pour it off the town hall roof" so they did
3.2.1 then they poured it off "we're melting " said the weird people "we did it" said Phillip.  "we sure did" said dad.

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